Back Blast: When Picnic Tables Were The Gym

Warm-Up (Or As We Called It, The Prelude to Real Pain)

• Little Baby Arm Circles: Did 10 forward, then 10 backward. Felt like a wind-up toy.
• Imperial Walkers: 10 of these bad boys. Because walking normally is too mainstream.
• Hillbilly Walkers: 10 reps. Yeehaw!
• Mountain Man Poopers: We did some. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
• Willie Mays Hayes: Some reps. If you don’t know, now you know.
• Slow Squats: Because fast is too easy.

The Thang (Or “Why Did I Wake Up For This?”)

So, we ran over to those picnic tables. Remember when picnic tables were for eating? Not today.

• Flutter Kicks: 40 (left + right = 1, because math is hard).
• Imperial Walker Step-Ups: 30 (left + right = 1). Like the Imperial Walkers but with more oomph.
• Dips: 20. Because who needs triceps?
• Decline Merkins: 10. Because regular merkins are for wimps.

Then, like the heroes of old, we ran to the pull-up bars:

• Pull-Ups: 10. And no, we didn’t use the kiddie bar.

And then, because we’re gluttons for punishment, we did it all over again. And again. And again.

Mary

Who’s Mary? We didn’t have time for her today.

Moleskin

None. We were too out of breath to speak.

Announcements

None. We were too tired to remember.