Episode 133: FNGs Flee the Scene! 😱

Weather: High 50s, clear, rain took a timeout 🙏

PAX: Jester, Spam, Ghost Rider, Copy Machine, Bobber, Woz, Crampon, Jake (8 total, no FNGs… shocker! 😜) very sweet one no no one shot it’s gone

Mission Statement

To plant, grow, and serve small workout groups for men for the invigoration of male community leadership. 💪

Disclaimer & Prayer

I’m not a professional, modify as needed, don’t sue me or F3. 😅

We kicked off with a prayer for protection and gratitude that the rain didn’t drown us.

Warm-O-Rama

We got the blood flowing (and scared off imaginary FNGs) with:

10 Imperial Walkers 🕺
10 Hillbilly Walkers 🤠
5 Mountain Man Poopers 💨
5 Arm Circles Forward ⭕
6 Arm Circles Backward 🔄
5 Side Straddle Hops 🦘
Etch-a-Stretch (because we’re artsy like that) 🎨

The Thang

We dove into the pain cave, designed to make FNGs run for the hills (or never return). 😈

Partner Pain Circuit
.Concurrent List
- One partner hit 5 Pull-Ups, 10 Mericans, 15 Squats while the other sprinted to the third light pole and back. 🏃‍♂️
- Repeated until each PAX ran 5 times. FNGs would’ve quit after the first sprint. 😹
Tabata Torture: Rocky Balboa Edition
- 8 rounds of Rocky Balboas, aiming for 50+ per round. We punched those curbs like they insulted our moms. 🥊
- PAX were wheezing, but no FNGs were there to faint. 🙌
Tabata Teamwork: High-Five Havoc
- Partners alternated with Bobby Hurleys (high-five at the top instead of jumping) and Ones where partners high-fived mid-rep. ✋
- The high-fives were so epic, FNGs would’ve felt left out and ghosted us. 😢
Tabata Takedown: Upper Body Burn
- - Overhead Press and Upright Rows. Shoulders screamed, but no FNGs were there to cry. 💪
Dora of Doom
- 200 Curls, 100 Dips, and a dream of 300 Freddie Mercurys (nobody finished, oops). 😅
- FNGs would’ve seen the curl count and bolted to their cars. 🚗💨

Mary

Skipped because we were too busy scaring off hypothetical FNGs. 😜

Count-O-Rama

8 PAX, no Returning FNGs (they heard about this workout and hid).

Name-O-Rama

Jester, Spam, Ghost Rider, Copy Machine, Bobber, Woz, Crampon, Jake. All veterans, no newbies to traumatize. 😹

Announcements

None. FNGs didn’t show, so no need to announce their welcome party. 🙃

Moleskin

People go where they’re invited and stay where they feel wanted. 💯 We’re out here inviting FNGs to F3 and church, but after this beatdown, they’re probably changing their phone numbers. 😂 Keep EH’ing, make ‘em feel the love, and maybe one day they’ll stick around (or at least show up once). Ball of Man and prayer to close, asking for courage to keep inviting and strength to survive these workouts. 🙏

COT (Circle of Trust)

Closed with a prayer for brotherhood and persistence in inviting others, even if they sprint away from our Qs. 😅