Episode 136: Never Gonna Give You Up: An 80s/90s Mixtape Beatdown 🎶💿

Yo, 8 PAX rolled up to the boombox 😎🌞—Copy Machine, Ghost Rider, Jobs, Gutterball, Futon, Steve, Jake, and Chicken Jockey—ready to jam to some retro bangers under a crisp 43°, clear, and sunny sky. The playlist? Straight fire: Never Gonna Give You Up, I Melt With You, Take On Me, Africa, Control, Ready or Not, Feels Like Another One, and Teddy Jam. We were basically living in a John Hughes movie, but with more sweat and fewer mullets. 😜🎸

Warm-Up: Crank Up the Volume 🏃‍♂️

We kicked it off with a quick 75-yard jog to get the blood pumpin’ like a Walkman on full blast. Then we grooved through:

Imperial Walkers (x15, IC) – struttin’ like we’re in a Madonna video.
Willie Mays Hayes (x10, IC) – slidin’ to the left, slidin’ to the right.
Wife Cycle Arm Circles (x10 forward/backward, IC) – Jake was tying his shoes, probably dreaming of Flashdance.
Slow Squats (x10, IC) – deep and smooth like Toto’s Africa.
Etch-a-Stretch – shaking out the kinks like a Polaroid picture.
Sticky Butt Kickers (x15, IC) – high knees, low vibes. 😏

The Thang: Lucky Star (Like Madonna, but Sweatier) 🌟

We dropped some concrete blocks in the center of the workout area, forming our Lucky Star. Each trip to the center meant 10 Overhead Presses (OHP) to keep the beat. PAX ran to each point of the star (20 yards out) for:

Sweet Surrender (10 reps, Rd 1; 5 reps, Rd 2) – melting like Modern English.
Catalina Wine Press (10/5) – sippin’ on those shoulder gains. 🍷
180° Squat Jumps (10/5) – spinning like a record, baby.
Travolta Merkins (10/5) – pointin’ to the sky, Saturday Night Fever style. 🕺
Pull-Ups (10/5) – hangin’ tough like New Kids on the Block.

Back to the center for 10 OHP each time, ‘cause we’re never gonna give those blocks up. Two rounds, max effort, max swagger. 💪

Paula Abdul: Two Steps Forward, One Step Back 🕴️

Straight outta the F3 Exicon, we hit the Paula Abdul (2 steps up, 1 step back). Starting at the crosswalk, we sprinted to each of the 4 light poles and the final curb:

25 Squats at 25 yards – droppin’ it low like Janet Jackson.
50 American Hammers at 50 yards – twistin’ like it’s 1989.
75 Mountain Climbers at 75 yards – climbin’ to the top like A-ha.
100 SSH at 100 yards – jumpin’ like a Van Halen guitar solo.

After each marker, we ran backward to the goal line for 10 Upright Rows, ‘cause we’re straight up now. This was our Quarter Pounder with Cheese—greasy, glorious, and a little bit extra. 🍔

Tabata 1: Curb Your Enthusiasm ⏱️

Single-Leg Short Squats on the curb, touching opposite heel to ground (30 sec on, 15 sec off) – balancing like we’re on a tightrope in leg warmers.
Pointers (on all fours, pointing one arm and opposite leg, squeezing glutes/back, then swapping) – channeling our inner Flashdance dog. 🐶

Tabata 2: Pump Up the Jam 🎧

Reverse FK (30 sec on, 15 sec off) – flutterin’ like we’re in a music video.
Press Block Out from Chest while standing (30 sec on, 15 sec off) – pushing it real good, Salt-N-Pepa style.

Mary: H2H and Box Cutters ✂️

Wrapped it up with 10 Hand-to-Hand (H2H) and 10 Box Cutters, slicing through the abs like a DJ scratching a record. 🎵

COT: Livin’ on a Prayer 🙏

We counted off, named off, and reflected on how these 80s/90s jams brought us together like a cheesy rom-com montage. The sun was shining, the PAX were vibing, and we left the AO feeling like we just starred in our own Breakfast Club sequel. 😎

Moleskin

This beatdown was a total time warp—sweat, laughs, and enough retro references to make you wanna dig out your acid-washed jeans. Jake’s shoe-tying sesh and Chicken Jockey’s block-pressin’ prowess were the real MVPs. Let’s keep rickrolling the gloom! 🎤💦

See you next time for another F3 mixtape masterpiece! 🎉