episode 177: the longest morning

11 pax said humidity. What humidity. We don’t care about humidity
DISCLAIMER
PRAYER
COP
Ssh

etch

imperial walkers

ttt

mtn man poopers

sticky butt kickers

lbac

seal claps
THE THANG

Conditions: Heavy. Humid. The kind of morning where the air wraps around you like a bad decision.

It was the kind of morning that clings to your skin and weighs down your bones. A morning where the sun showed up late, and the humidity showed up angry. The PAX staggered in like suspects to a lineup, each one thinking maybe, just maybe, they’d get an easy beat today. They were wrong.

The name’s Jester. I don’t hand out easy. I hand out sweat.

We started in the car line—a forgotten stretch of asphalt, littered with numbers, odd and even. To the untrained eye, just parking spots. But to us? They were checkpoints on the road to nowhere.

• On the evens: 5 lawnmowers per side.
• On the odds: 10 block squats.
• At the stop sign: 10 merkins—because stopping was never really an option.
• On the swings: 10 underdogs—a reminder that life’s better when you’re hanging by a thread.

We looped back through it all. Repetition? Maybe. Punishment? Definitely.

But the morning wasn’t done dragging us down.

Round Two.

The rules changed. Life does that. So did I.

• On the evens: 10 curls.
• On the odds: 5 in-and-outs.
• Stop sign: still 10 merkins.
• Swings: still hanging on with 10 underdogs.

Time was slipping through our fingers like a cheap cup of diner coffee, so I pulled a fast one—dropped the curls to 5 because the PAX looked like extras in a zombie film.

But just when they thought the credits were about to roll, Jake dropped a line.

Said the copy machine—yeah, the one that never sweats—thought my workouts were too easy.

I don’t negotiate with appliances.

So we hit the suicides.

Light pole to light pole.

Leaving nothing but our shadows behind.

Final Scene:

The PAX walked away heavier, slower, maybe questioning their life choices.

Me? I just lit a metaphorical cigarette, tipped my hat, and watched the humidity swallow them whole.

The case was closed. The sweat was real.

And the copy machine?

It’s got nothing to say now.

MARY
45ish second plank.  Gotta keep Jobs happy
CIRCLE OF TRUST
PRAYER
MOLESKIN

• “Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.”
• “I don’t mind a reasonable amount of trouble.”
• “It’s not the men in your life that count, it’s the life in your men.”

• You’re nothing but a no-good, double-crossing rat.

ANNOUNCEMENTS
Insert information about upcoming events, 2nd or 3rd F opportunities, and any other announcements.