Date: November 22, 2025
AO: Arrowhead – Where the clouds gathered like a Synod debate ☁️🗣️
Weather: Balmy 59°F, cloudy with a chance of divine intervention, then rain hit like Luther’s 95 Theses in the last 5 mins 🌧️⚡
PAX (6 Reformers in Training): Jobs, Bolt, Copy Machine, Jake (QIC, channeling his inner Calvin with that predestined playlist 🎶), FNG Bling… but we found out there was already a Bling so yours truly has renamed him “Sparkle Solder” until next week when we can officially rename him (welcome, shiny scholar! 💎), FNG 50 Y (because “50-Year Mortgage” is a mouthful, and who wants eternal debt vibes? 🏠😂)
QIC: Jake – Nailing workouts to the church door since 1517 📜🔨
Warm-O-Rama: By Faith Alone, We Get Loose! 🙏🕺
We kicked off like every holy huddle should: Imperial Walkers to march against indulgences, Hillbilly Walkers for that rustic reformer flair 🌾. Then, Jake cranked up “Cotton Eye Joe” by Rednex – because nothing says “warm-up” like a heretical hoedown! 🎻🐄
- Man singing: SSH like we’re hopping to heaven 🚀
- Banjo solo: Squat low, kick left/right – alternating legs like debating predestination vs. free will 🤔🦵
- Woman singing: Mericans, dropping low in humble repentance 💪😇
- Rinse & repeat – Sola Scriptura, but with beats! 📖🎵
Wrapped with extra stretches (Etch A Stretch vibes, doodling our sins away ✍️) and Lil Baby Arm Circles forward/backward – circling like Geneva theologians in a heated discussion 🔄🧠. Bling and 50 Y jumped in like they were born for this; turns out, they’re Reformed theology buffs, so we’re predestined for deep convos! 📚❤️
The Thang: Dora’s Doctrines & Tabata Testimonies 🏃♂️🧱📖
Mosey into the fray with a Dora-style beatdown – partners justifying each other by works (wait, no – by faith alone, but with sweat equity)! One PAX hammered reps, the other ran to the third light pole and back like fleeing papal bulls 🏃♂️💨.
Circuit 1 & 2: The Five Solas of Suffering (Twice Through):
- Squat Thrusters w/ weight – thrusting sins skyward like Calvin casting out errors 🏋️♂️✝️
- Dips – dipping into grace, deeper each time 🕳️😅
- Pull-Ups – pulling ourselves up by God’s bootstraps (or something Reformed – no Pelagianism here!) 💥🤣
Break: Tabata Thunder by Imagine Dragons ⚡🐉
Toe Raises & Freddie Mercurys – raising toes like rising in resurrection, pedaling mercies like eternal election! 🚴♂️🙌 Rain? Nah, just baptismal sprinkles starting early. 🌧️😉
Circuit 3: Swap Thrusters for Squat Upright Rows 🏋️♂️🔄
Upright like Luther standing firm at Worms – “Here I stand, I can do no other… but squat!” 🧍♂️😂 Did the full trio again, partners swapping like synergists in a debate.
Modified Elizabeth Warren Bernie Sanders Indian Run: Political Predestination? 🏃♂️🗳️
Lunge walk backwards in line (retrograde like rethinking Arminianism 🔄). Front PAX Bernie’d back, yelling “GO!” like a call to repentance. Twist: Last PAX forward-lunged to front – everyone got their glorious lunge turn! Bolt led like a bolt from heaven, Copy Machine duplicated the pain perfectly 🖨️😭. Jobs? Employed full effort. Bling sparkled through the gloom 💎, and 50 Y mortgaged his quads for the cause 🏠💸.
Final Circuit: Round It Out Strong 🔄
One more lap through the exercises – perseverance of the saints, baby! 💪✨
Tabata 2: Africa by Toto 🌍🐒
Curls & Monkey Humpers – curling weights like curling up with Institutes of the Christian Religion, humping like… uh, monkeys in a Reformation zoo? 🐵📖 (Humor level 7: We’re all sinners here! 😜)
Final Tabata: Thunderstruck by AC/DC Under the Portico ⚡🏠
Rain poured like Noah’s flood – we huddled under metal like ark survivors! Overhead Press & JLO’s – pressing overhead to the heavens, shaking it like Jennifer Lopez in a Geneva gown 💃🙏. No Mary; she was busy with rosaries or something (Reformed joke! 😂).
Moleskin: None – But Theme? Sola Fide, Brothers! 📖🤝
No official moleskin, but today’s sweatfest echoed Martin Luther and John Calvin: We’re justified by faith alone, not by our thrusters or pull-ups (though they help the temple! 💪🏛️). Like Luther nailing theses, we nailed reps; like Calvin’s predestination, Jake’s Q was foreordained awesome. Bling and 50 Y, theology fans? Welcome to the elect – F3’s where iron sharpens iron, grace abounds, and rain just means extra blessings! 🌧️❤️ Let’s reform our fitness, one cloudy gloom at a time. 😎
Announcements
None – Too busy pondering TULIP (Total Ultimate Leg Ignition Protocol? 🌷😂)
COT: Prayer Requests & Close 🙏
Gathered for prayer requests, then sealed it with a heavenly huddle. Soli Deo Gloria! ✝️🔥
#SYITG – Reformed and Ready for More Gloom! 🌙📖💦🐓🤜🤛
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