Episode 123: This Old Man Turns the Big 5-0 🎂

On a crisp 20°F morning, five brave souls gathered at Arrowhead to celebrate Jake’s 50th birthday. Despite the frigid temperatures, Sumo defied logic (and perhaps sanity) by sporting shorts. The Q arrived fashionably late, having misplaced his keys—perhaps a sign of the golden years ahead. Nonetheless, the PAX embarked on a whimsical journey through “This Old Man,” turning nursery rhymes into a formidable beatdown.

Warm-Up

• Abe Vigoda x 10 IC 🧓
  A slower version of the Windmill, focusing on a deep stretch. Stand with feet shoulder-width apart, arms extended parallel to the ground. Slowly bend at the waist, reaching your right hand toward your left foot while keeping your left arm extended upward. Return to standing, then repeat on the other side.
• Albatross Wings x 10 IC 🦅
  A series of arm exercises done in cadence without lowering hands in between. Includes Forward Arm Circles, Backward Arm Circles, Seal Claps, Overhead Claps, Moroccan Night Clubs, Cherry Pickers, Mike Tysons, Chinooks, Front Raises, Overhead Press, Albatross (flapping wings), and finishes with a 45-degree angle hold.
• Apple Turnover (Bear Crawl forward, Crab Walk back) 🐻🦀
  Bear Crawl forward for a designated distance, then switch to a Crab Walk to return to the starting point.
• Etch-A-Stretch

The Thang: 50 Years of Knick-Knack Paddywhack

Each verse corresponds to a unique exercise:

1. He Played 1 (Thumb): 1 Navy Seal Burpee 🦭
   A burpee variation that includes three merkins with knee tucks. From a standing position, drop to a plank, perform a merkin, bring the right knee to the chest, perform another merkin, bring the left knee to the chest, perform a final merkin, then explode upward into a jump.
2. He Played 2 (Shoe): 2 Alligator Merkins 🐊
   A walking merkin. Alternate stepping hands forward on successive merkin reps, mimicking an alligator’s movement.
3. He Played 3 (Knee): 3 Thrusters with Coupon 🧱
   Stand holding a coupon (e.g., cinder block) at chest level. Perform a squat, and as you rise, press the coupon overhead. Return the coupon to chest level as you descend into the next squat. Repeat for the designated number of reps.
4. He Played 4 (Door): 4 American Hammers IC 🔨
   Sit on your 6 with legs bent in the air. Hold your fist in the other hand and twist your body to touch the ground on one side, then the other. That’s a 2-count move.
5. He Played 5 (Hive): 5 Air Squats 🏋️‍♂️
   Stand with feet shoulder-width apart. Lower your body into a squat position, keeping your chest up and knees over your toes. Return to standing position.
6. He Played 6 (Sticks): 6 Alternating Shoulder Taps IC 🤲
   From the merkin position, alternate touching your left hand to right shoulder and right hand to left shoulder.
7. He Played 7 (Heaven): 7 Air Dramas 🎭
   Begin from a standing position, move hips back and lower the torso to “sit” as deeply as possible while maintaining an upright position. Upon returning to a full standing position, execute a calf raise.
8. He Played 8 (Gate): 8 Alternating Side Squats IC ↔️
   Start with feet together. Step one leg out to the side and perform a squat, returning legs together at the top. Repeat on the other side. Usually done in slow cadence so 1 rep is a squat on each side.
9. He Played 9 (Spine): 9 Alphabet (or ABCs) 🔤
   On your 6 with feet elevated like a 6-inch hold, spell out the alphabet with your feet. All capital letters preferred.
10. He Played 10 (Again): 10 Curls for the Girls with Coupon 🏋️‍♂️
    Stand upright holding a coupon (e.g., cinder block) with both hands. Perform a standard bicep curl by lifting the coupon from your thighs to your chest, then lower it back down. Repeat for the designated number of reps.

After each exercise, PAX ran to the fire hydrant to simulate “rolling home.” 🏃‍♂️

Mary

• Freddie Mercurys x 50 IC 🎤
  On your back, hands under your buttocks, legs straight. Lift one leg to 45 degrees while the other hovers just above the ground. Switch leg positions in a flutter kick motion, in cadence.
• Flutter Kicks x 50 IC 🦵
  Lie on your back with hands under your hips. Lift both legs off the ground about 6 inches. Quickly scissor your legs up and down in a fluttering motion, in cadence.
• Imperial Walkers x 50 IC 🚶‍♂️
  From a standing position, lift your right knee toward your chest while bringing your left elbow to meet it. Alternate sides in a marching motion, in cadence.

Moleskin

Reflecting on 50 years, we embrace new challenges and growth. As Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”

We gathered, grateful for strength, camaraderie, and the journey ahead. Prayers for health and safe travels for all PAX. 🙏