Northeast Tennessee

Episode 134: Pistol Pete’s Bayou Beatdown

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Northeast Tennessee

Backblast: Pistol Pete’s Bayou Beatdown

Date: May 17, 2025
AO: Arrowhead (aka the Pistol Pete Maravich Memorial Portico)
Conditions: Mid-50s, raining like a Louisiana monsoon 🌧️, then clearing like Death Valley on game day
QIC: Jake
PAX: Jake (QIC), Swamp, Copy Machine, Bolt, Futon, Mullet (DR from Charlotte), Catfish (FNG)
FNGs: 1 – Welcome, Catfish! 🐟
Count: 7

Prayer for Safety: We started with a prayer for safety from slippery porticos and Imperial Walker wrath. No man left unprayed for. 🙏

The Thang:

Jake rolled in a minute late, blaming Baton Rouge gridlock. The PAX looked as thrilled as LSU fans watching a fumble. Rain poured, but we moseyed to cover, channeling Pistol Pete Maravich’s floppy socks and trick shots. Our FNG, Catfish, named for his Louisiana fishing roots and LSU fandom, was ready to dunk on this workout. Time for Cajun magic. 🐯

Warm-Up (Pistol Pete’s Half-Court Warm-Up):

  • Motivator from 4: Counted down like Pete raining threes—4-3-2-1, nodding to his 3,667 points. Catfish dreamed of 1970 glory. 🏀
  • Mountain Man Poopers (10 IC): Swampy squat with leg kick-back, like Catfish’s kin wrestling catfish. Swamp preferred gators. 🐊
  • Willie Mays Hayes (10 IC): Side-to-side stretches, swaying like Spanish moss. Pete stretched before dropping 68 on Auburn. 🌳
  • Etch-A-Stretch: Arm circles, torso twists—like Pete sketching trick plays. Mullet was baffled but game. 🤔

The Main Event (Pistol Pete’s Cardio Cajun Carnival):

They said you can’t get cardio under a portico in the rain. They said Pete couldn’t shoot from the parking lot. Wrong. When the rain stopped (thanks, St. Peter Maravich), we took it outside, flashier than Pete’s no-look passes.

  1. Baba O’Riley (Imperial Walker Armageddon): 🎶 5 minutes of Imperial Walkers to “Baba O’Riley.” High-knee marches with hip twist—my Arrowhead signature, like Pete’s dribble. Cranked to 1.5x speed to spare us. Still brutal—like guarding Pete. Catfish kept pace, Mullet eyed Charlotte. 😩
  2. Tabata Bonanza (Pistol Pete’s Highlight Reel): ⏰ 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest, 8 rounds per set. Four sets, because Pete dazzled.
    • Set 1: Deadlifts & Rocky Balboas
      • Deadlifts: Bend, touch ground, stand—like Catfish hauling crawfish. Copy Machine lifted Pete’s stat sheet.
      • Rocky Balboas: Toe-taps, bouncing like Pete juking defenders. Futon did the Cajun two-step. 🕺
    • Set 2: Sprints & Monkey Hoppers
      • Sprints: 20-second dashes, like Pete’s layups. Swamp fled Mike the Tiger.
      • Monkey Humpers: Squats down low, like chimps in Louisiana jungles. Bolt swung to the next parish. 🦍
    • Set 3: Upright Rows & J-Lo’s
      • Upright Rows: Pull to chin, like Catfish reeling fish. Mullet burned to Tiger Stadium.
      • J-Lo’s: Plank with a hip shake. Pete would’ve tipped his cap. Abs screamed. 😅
    • Set 4: Half-Up Curls & Squat Jumps (90°/180° Turn)
      • Half-Up Curls: Bicep curls halfway, like Pete’s effortless shots. Copy Machine posed for an LSbillboard.
      • Squat Jumps with Turn: Squat, jump, rotate. Spun like Pete twirling the ball. Catfish wobbled but landed. 🌀
  3. Cupid Shuffle Plank Fiesta: 💃 Plank to “Cupid Shuffle.” Left/right = shuffle, down = Merican, kick = leg kicks. Cajun hoedown in hell. Catfish sang, Swamp faceplanted. We planked. 😆
  4. Tabata Encore: Overhead Press & Line Hops
    • Overhead Press: Push skyward, like Pete’s 40-footer. Futon pressed LSU’s championship hopes.
    • Line Hops: Side-to-side jumps, like Pete dodging a double-team. Bolt joined LSU’s track team. 🐅
  5. F3 Cotton Eyed Joe (Bayou Blowout): 🪕 Male vocals = Side Straddle Hops, female vocals = Merkins, banjo/violin = Squats with kicks. Hopped, pushed, kicked like a Cajun dance. Catfish shooed gators, Mullet booked a flight.

Mosey Back to Start: Jogged back, drenched in sweat and LSU swagger. Portico conquered. Pete would’ve nodded. 🏆

COT (Circle of Trust):

  • Count-O-Rama: 7 PAX, including Catfish, plotting an LSU Q.
  • Name-O-Rama: Welcomed Catfish, named for fishing and Tiger fandom. Grin wider than the Mississippi. 🐟
  • Announcements: None, too busy with Pete’s aura.
  • Moleskin: None, but Catfish’s LSU passion lit the gloom.
  • Prayer: Thanks for rain stopping, Catfish, and Pete’s legacy. 🙏

Naked Moleskin (Kinda):
A slam dunk worthy of Pistol Pete. Crushed the portico cardio myth, like Pete rewrote basketball history. Catfish, welcome—Q with LSU flair soon. Geaux Tigers! 🐯

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