Northeast Tennessee

GoRuck Simulation

CSAUP Events Northeast Tennessee

Eleven (11) men left the comforts of home at 8:30 on a nice Friday evening to get a small taste of the suck that awaits in 2 weeks. The PAX assembled in the parking lot for instructions from YHC: I will do his best to give you a real snapshot of some of the types of things we may encounter; first and foremost, stay safe and pay attention to your surroundings, look out for each other when we are crossing roads, because we will be moving; never take your ruck off unless instructed; never be more than 1 arm’s length away from another PAX or you will pay the price; once we cross the road assemble in 2 lines, arms length apart—game on. BOM & prayer.

Mosey across the road to Founders to Assemble. A few more instructions—on your face, now!

  • 10 merkins
  • Run to the far side of the field—Plank (until YHC said move)
  • Run back —20 squats
  • Run to the far side of the field—Plank (until YHC said move)
  • Bear crawl back (probably 70-80 yards)—50 flutter kicks in cadence

Gear check—unpack all your gear except hydration and plate. ID in the left hand, cab fare in the right. YHC checked all gear to make sure required items were present. Jobs didn’t get the memo. On your six—25 flutter kicks (IC)

1 minute to pack all your gear back up and get to the bridge—Go!

  • Creek walk (50 yards) -> exit -> bear crawl back to the bridge
  • Creek walk (50 yards) but this time deep squats at the deep section to get your knee’s and ass nice and wet -> exit -> 20 monkey humpers
  • Duck walk up the sidewalk to the next light pole (20 yards)

Mosey towards the parking lot. On the way, the flag was left planted in the field. Rite Aid ran to get it—by himself—as pointed out by the PAX. On your face—10 Merkins.

Gather at the end of the parking lot by the poles—team leader elected—Pythagorus.

Task -> move two of the poles to the ETSU Intramural field. One pole was a little (perhaps a lot) heavier than the other, so the heavy drops (5 tallest men) hopped on the larger pole and the smurfs (smaller guys) hopped on the smaller of the two logs. A rotation was set, 4 men on the pole and the 5th man get’s a break. Brownie navigated with shovel flag in hand.

YHC underestimated the size and weight of the poles. Four of 5 guys in each team group were under the poles at all times, with minimal recovery time. There was a bad wreck at the intersection to cross over onto ETSU’s campus. YHC made the decision to stop at the light at University (about half way to the intended destination) and ground the logs for some PT.

  • Burpee broad jumps (30 yards)
  • Lunge back (30 yards)

There was a small hill between State of Franklin and McDonalds, YHC decided to introduce the PAX to some of the more miserable things YHC experienced with Cadre Geoff on a flood wall in Columbia.

  • Crawl bear up the hill (15 yards) and back down
  • Backwards crab walk (ruck on chest) up the hill ( 15 yards)—real crowd pleaser
  • Rinse and repeat

Pick up the logs and head towards Pythagorus house (where they are being stored). The smaller log was grounded at the intersection by Founders before reaching Pythagorus pad. More rotation on the big log was in order. The teams on and off the big log until we made it to the destination. The heavy log was dropped off at it’s short term home. Group Ruck back to the intersection to pick up the smaller of the two logs—it wasn’t quite ready to go home. Crossed the road back to the park for some log PT.

  • Team 1 -> mosey to far light pole (50 yards) and back
  • Team 2 -> log overhead press (as a group) until they return
  • Flapjack
  • Team 1 -> bear crawl to the parking lot (25 yards) and back
  • Team 2 -> log squats (as a group) until they return
  • Flapjack
  • Team 1 -> mosey to far light pole (50 yards) and back
  • Team 2 -> static log overhead press until they return
  • Flapjack
  • Team 1 -> bear crawl to the parking lot (25 yards) and back
  • Team 2 -> log lunges until they return

Ground the log for a short break (2:00) -> pick it back up and head to Pythagorus house

Group Ruck back to the park, taking the long way around and through downtown to say hello to the neighbors—many strange looks and honking horns. Don’t mind us, we are just being awesome.

I’m estimating we covered 2.0-2.5 miles with the logs. There wasn’t much of a break for individual PAX, most of those miles were spent under the log. 


  • 10 step-ups (each leg) | 10 merkins
  • 8 step-ups (each leg) | 8 merkins
  • 6 step-ups (each leg) | 6 merkins
  • 4 step-ups (each leg) | 2 merkins
  • 2 step-ups (each leg) | 2 merkins

Mosey to Tombstone Hill

  • Pythagorus was wounded on the way -> get your brother out of harms way and up the hill to safety -> back down
  • Rite Aid was wounded -> get him up the hill, this time we can only use 2 men -> back down
  • Grillz was wounded -> get him up the hill (2 men) -> back down
  • Jobs (biggest guy in the group) was wounded, get him up the hill (can use 4 men) -> back down

Note: lots of teamwork and strategy on the best way to carry other men up the hill. Great work by the PAX

Mosey back to the Field 

  • Mosey across the field -> 10 merkins -> bear crawl back -> 20 squats
  • Lunge across the field -> 10 merkins -> mosey back across

Mosey to entrance side of the field -> ground the ruck

Centipede (or inchworm) push-ups. YHC lined up the guys, smallest to largest. Everyone on their face with head and knee level of the PAX in front of them (not pleasant, but has to be done). Feet on shoulders -> Up and down on my call. We were able to get 5 successful up/down before falling apart.

With a few minutes left, YHC was content to call it an evening, but the PAX wanted their money’s worth. With the remaining 5-8 minutes

  • Group 1 -> Ruck jumps (jump over grounded ruck)
  • Group 2 -> 20 merkins
  • Rinse and repeat

That’s it—we are done.

YHC discussed his previous GoRuck experience. While a simulation can’t really mirror the real thing, it can help your body get a feel for what’s to come so it’s not a surprise. You get punched in the mouth right out of the gate, get under some heavy stuff that makes you 2nd guess your life decisions—but eventually your body adjusts. The initial pain of the log seems to subside and it turns into more of a mental grind. That’s what YHC attempted to simulate.

Let’s hit Wild Wings for some post simulation libation.

While physically demanding, the simulation suggests this group will have no problem with teamwork and taking care of each other (physically and mentally). No Blue Falcons, everyone’s anxious to pull their weight and do hard work. What I was most pleased to see—men finishing the task and peeling back to finish with other guys who were still moving. That’s really part of why these events are so awesome. You learn very quickly it’s not about you and we can accomplish more together than we can alone. We all have strengths and vulnerabilities. At some point we will be the six (either physically or mentally). What I saw and heard coming from the PAX suggest that these PAX already get it. We are learning to rely on each other to get through it. Embrace the suck!

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