Northeast Tennessee

Abvent and Birthdays

Northeast Tennessee Johnson City Iron Horse (Founders Park)

Time: 0700

Temp: 29F

21 PAX chose the red pill and showed up for the 2nd birthday Q of the week.  Word on the street is that there’s another one next week.  YHC signed up for the 12/3 Q to offer my 38th birthday beatdown.  Then Donatello’s M asked if we could do something “special” to celebrate Donatello turning 40 earlier in the week.  We made him feel extra special.  His props included: a walker for moseying, Michelob Ultra for the ruck (Donatello’s often referred to sissy drink), pearly white velcro old-man sneakers, prune juice, and top hits from 95 (Donatello’s high school graduation year), and 85 (the hits that had likely made it to Donatello’s home town by 1995).  YHC also had some hits from Donatello’s favorite Pandora stations Take me back to 1976, and Romantic Interludes, but we didn’t get to those.

Here’s how it went down…



Warm-Up #1

The Motivator – see previous post by Singlet to understand this thing.  Takes 15 minutes to explain.  Makes your calves feel like a million bucks, especially after an Escape Hatch calf heavy Thursday smoker apparently (that YHC missed).  Mumblechatter was heavy.

Mosey to amphitheater – Donatello bring the walker and MU

Warm-Up #2 (it was extra cold)

Merkins x 10 IC

LBAC x 20 IC each way (Donatello with prune juice)

Merkins x 10 IC

Hillbillies x 20 IC

Merkins x 10 IC

Shoulder Macarena x 20 IC

Merkins x 10 IC

Imperial Walkers x 20 IC

One lap around the inner circle (quarter milish +) – except for Beaker and Slugger who didn’t follow the lead and had to jump the creek

Deck of Abs

Took the highest 10 cards of each suit (Ace high) for a total of 40 cards (Donatello = 40)

Ace = 1 minute plank

Face card = 12 IC

5-10 = face value IC

Hearts: Heels to Heaven

Clubs: LBCs

Diamonds: American Hammers

Spades: Dolly

Not sure how many cards we got through but it was enough to not want to do any more abs.  It was clubs heavy.  And all 4 aces were played.

One lap around the inner circle (quarter milish +) – nice work this time Beaker and Slugger

Jack Webbs – start at 1 merkin, up to 10

One lap around the inner circle (quarter milish +) – push on this one

Captain Thor – start at 1 BBSU, up to 7

Finish with 2 more cards from the Deck of Abs





The last 6 months or so has been life changing in many ways for many, if not all of us here today.  Six months ago, fart sacking was the norm for many of us, and we didn’t even know what fart sacking was.  We’d never EH’d, or been EH’d, never googled merkin (or at least most of us anyway), and never sighted Elvis.  A lot can change in six months, and I’m here today to tell you I’m a much more fit, better man today than I was 6 months ago.  I haven’t been this strong since I was 16 – that’s over 20 years ago.  We’ve likely lost more weight collectively than Donatello weighs himself.  Donatello, I had no idea what you were EH’ing me in to, but I had a feeling it would be good for me.  That’s probably the case for most of us out here.  We came out here knowing we needed to do something better, but maybe not even knowing what that was. Now that you’re an old, middle aged man, Donatello, we want to say thanks.  Thanks for bringing F3 to Johnson City.  Thanks for the 1436 emails you’ve sent to date.  Thanks for teaching some of us how to tweet.  Thanks for setting the bar high, and coming along side us to help us reach that bar.  In short, thanks for changing our lives for the better.  If I had a Michelob Ultra right now, I’d raise it high and toast to many more birthdays for you, many more emails, and many more days that we can gather together and thank God that one of these days we won’t be able to do this stuff, but today is not that day.  Here’s to Donatello!

Michelob Ultra was then enjoyed (as much as it can be enjoyed) by a few of the PAX

Coffeeteria at CFA – Thanks to Donatello’s M for providing breakfast.


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